“Am I truly brave? Or do I just want to be a hero?”
It is such a strange time, directly after losing a child. No one seems to know what to do or what to say to you. It is like suddenly being snatched out of your own life and thrust into a vacuum of awkwardness where no one else wants to dwell. A desert no one else wants to even think about.
For me, after Joel died that was certainly the case, with exception of Joel’s hurting and confused friends, with whom I suddenly found myself surrounded. And the majority of Joel’s friends were some pretty lost and confused kids in general. Those were the kids he had just naturally gravitated to. I think that was because Joel was a natural Lover of the Hurting. He was like a neighborhood “crisis line.”
It’s 4:00 am and a young girl he has befriended has an overwhelming urge to cut her wrists ~ call Joel. One kid is so mad at another, he is going around making death threats ~ call Joel and he will “talk him down”. Another girl has an eating disorder ~ call Joel…he would spend hours talking to her to help her feel better. Scared, sad or lonely? Call Joel. For a short time near the end of his life, before it seemed as if he just gave up and succumbed to the growing darkness inside himself, Joel had wanted to be a counselor. And he would have been a good one.
So I guess that was why those were the kids I began helping. That was all great…until they grew up, stopped coming to my house and forgot all about me. I guess. But I could never, ever forget about them. To me, they were my new children. Since the majority of them were boys, and I still had my precious daughter Heather, I began to wonder. Why was I helping all of these kids?
Was I doing it for me or was I doing it for them? Perhaps I was trying to replace Joel. If so, I wasn’t doing that consciously, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t doing it. After each one of the kids learned what they needed from me, they went home to their grateful families. And there I was. Alone with a broken heart. It was nobody’s fault. After all, they weren’t my real children. And even though many of them called me “Mom” for awhile, I wasn’t their real mother. My real boy was gone.
As time went on, I began to carefully examine my heart and the motives for my actions. It seemed as if being with other teens had actually filled a part of the gapping hole in my heart and soul. I started to wonder if that feeling of fullness was real.
Was I truly brave, or did I just want to be a hero?
When I began thinking down this dark rabbit hole, I suddenly began to panic. What if there wasn’t enough goodness in me that was pure? What if my desire to give was actually a sick way of taking ~ taking for myself? Or what if what I was giving away wasn’t what was wanted or needed?
Just recently, I decided I didn’t really care…that it didn’t really matter one way or the other. I suddenly realized I was hyper-focusing on myself. Believe me, that is a very unproductive and depressing place to be. I decided if one young person was helped by any act of kindness I was able to do for them, I should just stop worrying. It wasn’t about me anyway. If I am able to do anything good at all, it isn’t me doing or being that goodness anyway…it is God. Because God is Love.
That’s when it became joyfully obvious to me:
It is actually possible to give more than you have…
more than you even are.
It is really totally irrelevant whether I am brave or not. Or a hero or not. This freedom in giving is possible, but only if I stop thinking about myself. If I thought of God as the giver and not myself, I could find deep joy in giving ~ giving and not being in the least bit depleted.
weed edibles no prescription required worldwide
Really insightful article! Seeing platforms like bouncing ball game prioritize PAGCOR licensing & responsible gaming (like deposit limits) is fantastic for Philippine players. Transparency builds trust! 👍
Alright, video poker fans! Videopokervn seems like a decent spot. Selection is alright, layouts clean. Just need to get some luck. Try your hand at video poker.
That’s a solid analysis – competitive gaming is really taking off in the Philippines! Seeing platforms like jollibee 777 app download focus on security & fast interfaces is key for building trust with players. Exciting stuff!
Dice games are surprisingly complex when you start thinking about probabilities! It’s cool how platforms like jl57 vip offer so many options – slots, live casino, even color prediction – making it easy to explore different chances & wins. Fun stuff!
87club? Yeah, a friend told me about it. It’s alright, nothing groundbreaking but not bad either. Solid enough to give it a spin. See what you think at 87club.
Tried Mluvabetcasino last week. Was pleasantly surprised. Good user interface and some interesting promotions. Worth a look, seriously. Give it a go at mluvabetcasino.
Casino Hermosillo, eh? Sounds interesting. I’ve heard good things. Might give it a try myself. Check it out at casinohermosillo see what all the fuss is about.
Yo, if you’re into bonuses, gybetbonus might be your thing. I’ve seen some interesting offers there. Have a look for yourself! Get your bonus at gybetbonus.
Hey, 3pattiluckyapk is where it’s at. It’s a simple app but it does the trick! Grab it here 3pattiluckyapk.
Just tried out 7lgbetgame. It’s pretty interesting! Check it out here for yourself! Link is here 7lgbetgame.
The piece beautifully captures the exhaustion of emotional labor. True bravery isn’t always the dramatic rescue; often, it’s the quiet resilience required to sustain support. Recognizing when to recharge is key-whether it’s emotional bandwidth or simply finding reliable fun, like the consistent engagement found at SuperPH11.
Hmm, về trải nghiệm người dùng thì phải xem kỹ lắm. Cái cách họ tối ưu hóa tìm kiếm các ưu đãi, như ở cwi app, cho thấy họ hiểu người chơi cần gì. Rất logic!
The UX of these platforms is key; efficiency trumps flash. Notice how tableplus com nails that simple, direct feel. A clean interface lets you focus on reads, not navigation. tableplus com is a good model for flow.
Honestly, the setup process seems quite detailed. For beginners, maybe a quick visual guide on depositing via bKash would help more than just listing the steps. Check out ceo bet365 for more context!
Being based here I love having a local friendly platform that runs without any lag. The interface is clean and I never have to dig around to find my favorite games. Deposits work perfectly with my usual payment methods. Stop by jb8nepal
The app works perfectly on Android and I can play anywhere without interruptions. I love how the daily bonuses keep adding extra spins and the customer care is super responsive. Transactions are smooth and my money stays safe the whole time. A reliable choice for casual and serious players alike. slotapkhijau
Found this spot recently and I am hooked on the amazing slot variety and fair payout speeds. Customer service is super quick and always treats you like a regular. Definitely my go-to for weekend fun and the welcome bonus actually feels worth it. 5666bdtcasino
The app installation was a breeze and the performance is rock solid. It is so much better than playing in a browser. Get the rpvip4apk now!
The mobile app is a game changer. I can play anywhere without any glitches. It’s much more convenient than the browser version. Cheers to bt777app
Love the variety of games here. I had a great run last night and the customer support was very helpful with my deposit. Check out phjilibit
Really loving the variety of options available here. It keeps things exciting and I never get bored. Cheers to the team at bdzb777 for this awesome experience.
Really loving the variety of options available here. It keeps things exciting and I never get bored. Cheers to the team at bdzb777 for this awesome experience.